u never met Nurin, son. neither did i. though i felt as if i knew her well. most malaysian felt that way too. because she is a child, and a child in the the comunity is the comunity's child. well at least its how it should be. during my younger times, if and whenever i did strayed a bit too far from the familiar laman and little that we called street, and passing the grown-ups over their i hope i did know her. i hope none of the things tht hs happen to her did happened. i felt responsible. because if one of our children is taken away, the comunity is responsible. and thts why so many ppl cried reading about her tragedy; ppl cried when they saw about it on the telly; the imam cried when he was doing her solat mayat; ur grandparents cried; and to this day i bled in my heart each time i heard about her or similar unfortunate fate faced by other children. everytime her pictures is shown on the telly or paper. the happy face and the lifeless one. such a sweet child. such a tragedy to befall to an innocent child. the comunity felt sorry tht this ws allowed to happenned again; sorry tht they havent got hold of the bad guys who did this; sorry tht they couldnt protect their own children; i am sorry too. this was not the first of such tragedy. i fear it wont be the last. the comunity has become sick; and sickos do roam the streets. everyone was touched by this. i hope it wont be just a passing phase. the story everyone cared for a while before the next flavor of the month come along. a corrupt politician maybe or a movie star sex scandal, oh and we've put a man in space or sports. actions needs to be taken. otherwise it will happen again and our young ones; the very life and hope of the comunity will again be lost. i certainly wont forget. so if u hear anyone trying to shrug this issue off, or telling u tht putting a man in space is more important than providing the safe environment where our young one can roam free and safe, or failure to catch a d prosecute the bad guys who inflicts these terrible pain, grab them by the collar, son. and tell them, remember Nurin!
i didn't felt such sadness and anguish over the other tragedies tht has happenned before nurin. i read about them and denounce those acts of cruelty;- before focussing my attention to the next piece of news, and it didnt lingers in my head or felt the terrible-ness or the fear as if it was so near. as if it was watching. it felt as if distant. but not with Nurin. because when it happened, ur already born and in my care. and because of this i now posses an emphaty of a parent. it is a heavy load, the empathy of a parent. but i know no sane parent would ever let that load go, no matter how tough the going. and i almost can imagine life or what's left of it if it was u who were snatched away from my arms. it always an almost, as my subconsicious does not recognise nor could allow such scenario to be simulated. which led me to believe, that i will not survive if such event does occur.
i'm sorry tht i couldn't raise u in a better place and time. Its a fearful world out there. And i worry for u, from the day u were born, perhaps until the day tht i die.
******updated entry***
how long has it been? A year or two since nurin left. The media has moved on, so was the rest of the country. But not her family. Tht wud be just my guess, but if it were me, i wudnt budge at all. the world would have stopped spinning, and There were a footnote news about her recently. Not tht the perp was caught; nope he still around sumwhere. It ws about the policeman who leaked her autopsy pics. Some actions n suing. there were other children taken after her. one of them was XXXX. i always got confused between her and Nurin. not because they look alike, but they both were taken away. I still see her missing posters here n there, as if the hope tht she's alive n somewhere n the body wsnt her still lingers n remains a whisper. Anythng louder then a whisper will not be heard, sadly.
i still remember her. When ur older n understand this, i want u too to read about her n remember her, so that u understand how hard it is to raise a child in this seemingly cruel world. Because it will happen again. I hope they caught the perp in ur time. And if there are news of similar misfortune to happen to other children, i would like to be comforted to know tht i raised my children to be full of aphaty, responsibility and full of hope and tawakkal. N if u see such news being read by someone, and he hardly raised an eyebrow before tossing it to the side or switching the channel to a sitcom, go ahead son grab him n whisper, nothing louder than a whisper. Remember nurin!
