baby no.2

The news came in at a time I was drowsy and dead tired with work, in the middle of the work week. Ur mother left the quick birth test kit on the sink for me to find, as I woke up to do my Isya’ prayer. I was confused at first, because I thought ur mother was having a period a few days before, but as you will find out repeatedly on your own; mother’s always knows. And there it was, my second child, in the making. By that time, we have been trying for 6 months, I didn’t quite expect it then. I didn’t quite make it out at first, but it hit us later, that the bleeding that was thought to be period, was an indication of something that warrants immediate attention. Immediate enough that I was actually scolded by the gynie, when I brought ur mother to check her up. U see, by the time we found out, ur mother was actually 7 weeks pregnant. At 7 weeks, it’s a little bit late to find out. U see, because we didn’t know, ur mother didn’t do or rather behave like someone who has a child in her. In that 6 weeks, she’d done a lot of hard work, stuffs that she wouldn’t do, or at least I’ll prevent her from doing had we known earlier. And it was busy times with raya decoration and open houses and rearranging of furnitures and ramadhan before that and ur auntie’s wedding coming up. And because of that the uterus bleed. Well not the uterus, actually. It’s the wall behind the uterus. Its not serious enough that it can heal and recoverfrom, but serious enough to get me scolded and frowned upon. The good doctor told us that its not dangerous now, but if this were to be left without remedy, it can cause serious repercussion on the baby. We silently nodded and promise to behave like expecting parents again. Something which we hadn’t done for awhile now.

And so that was how our second child came. With a knack of surprises.

Children, although some of the past entries were addressed to you Danish, but I want both of you to know that I wrote for all my children. My messages and love and guidance transcend time and calamity are all for you. it just so happen that the past few entries were written when only Danish is around. Should there be a third child, the same will apply to her as well. I have though to re-write all that I have written in past entries again to reflect this, but decided against it. I know both of u will understand this.

And so baby no.2, we await you. of course u haven’t a name yet. As ur brother can tell u later on. Its taboo to name a baby that is yet to be born. But we eagerly await u. especially Danish. See u soon.

the boy and the starfishes

There’s this story that was told to me when I was at a very young age. It’s a usual children’s story, nothing spectacular or event that build up to a climax and only to be discovered as a red herring, which then quickly turns into a twisted anti-climax. No. none of that. And because it was told to me at a very young age, it did create an impact to me. Not immediately though. It’s one of those stories that grows on u. stories that planted a seed of a suggestion at the very back of ur mind, that would eventually flourished into an idea and become basis of a value system. An inception. Had I heard this at a later age of which my value framework has been set, I might not even remember, nor attribute much value to it, after hearing it.

Where was i? yes, the story. The story is called a boy and the starfish. There’s this old man who was on a vacation in a beautiful beach somewhere in South America. Some version of this story has it that the man was a professor or a writer just to make the antagonist and protagonist contrast to be more stark. And here is the elderly man walking to the beach on a fateful afternoon. It happen to be that day, there was a peculiarity in the weather, just a touch of Fahrenheit off, just a millionth of an angle of the moon is off, which in turn affects the ocean tides and movements. And the elderly man found on the beach literally thousands of starfishes stranded on the beach that stretches to the length of the beach as the tide has already moving back to the sea. You see, because of the weather anomaly, the starfishes has had the misfortune of not aligning to the ocean’s slightly tweaked schedule that particular day. And because of that, the thousands of starfishes are now stranded and helpless on the beach. And the old man knows, that as soon as the moisture is driven out from the starfishes and from sands they sat upon, they will all die away.  And this will happen well before the next tide comes in.

As he about to despair the fate of the thousands of starfishes on the beach that day, his eyes caught a glimpse at the far end of the beach, a boy. The boy seems to be picking up one star fish at a time and throwing back into the sea. The elderly man found this as strange. But the boy was working hard. The elderly man could not help to be inquisitive enough, that he walked to the very end of the beach to speak to the boy.

And he ask the boy, what are you doing, little boy?

The little boy replied, I’m saving the starfishes. If they stays here, they’re going to die.

The man smiled a bit and says, my boy, there’s thousands of starfishes here. u can’t save them all. Ur just but one boy. Surely, u can’t make a difference.

The boy didn’t looked up to the elderly man. Instead he continued to fling another starfish into the ocean and says, I’m making a difference with this one. He looked at the elderly man. Sir, if u go into the ocean right now and ask that starfish that I just flung, he’ll tell you otherwise and that I did make a difference with him! Would you think he would say otherwise?

And with that the elderly man was speechless.

The story ended there. What a climax.

there are problems in the world, son. There are some that we can handle on our own. Stuffs like running errands, getting stuffs for ur mom, forgetting keys or locking urself out of the house fixing up the broken air conditioning unit. Problems like these, I’m sure you will grow confident in tackling over them as u grow wiser into age. And by tackling I mean doing the right thing, or calling the right people to help you out.

And then there’s big problems, problems that may not touch you individually. Problems that happen outside of an individual or family. Problems that rooted well before ur time or the type that has promulgated into something that seems unfixable. Problems that u are aware off, but can easily be tuned off or  turn a blind eye, or shrug it off or change the tv channel, and move on to other things, or just plain ignore it. Problems like poverty, lack of education, bribery, prostitution, human trafficking, drugs, homelessness, orphans and orphanages, war, disasters man-made or otherwise, street crimes, runaway youths , baby dumping… yup, the world has a lot of those problems. And as the stranded starfishes, each and every one of them seems too big for one person to make a difference, too big that a lot of people like the elderly guy in the story only see futility in any effort made by an individual. Why bother, they say, or ur not solving the actual problem. Or u cant do this  Or that these people are part of a begging syndicate. Or they’re be back at the street in a week. U know, the excuses ppl use to justify their unwillingness to be involve, to help while trying to feel and impress upon you a sense of nobleness and wiseness. Pathetic.

I hope u wont give out such excuses, I would raise u better than that. I hope I would raise u to be that little boy on the beach. I hope u wouldn’t turn a blind eye when u can do something meaningful, and to make a difference and to not stop, just because a problem seems too big to handle. I hope that when the opportunity present itself to u, u won’t shirk the responsibility that has found its way to you. its easy to do that. And u can always do that any time, why do it now? From experience I can tell you that, everyone will do that, shrugging a problem away. Problems in the form of a needy child, or desperate someone. Some more than others. Some do it with a few bucks to rid off the guilt and quickly move away while others push and shout while other just ignore any plea like white noise. I don’t expect u to be perfect. But I do hope u can as much as u can be involved and touch another soul as often as u can. Because if u don’t, if anyone don’t, then why are we even here? and in all of these son, always follow ur instinct. No matter what the norm of the society or community is at that moment and place. Don’t give it a second thought, cos if u do, the moment will lapse, and there will only be regret.

When a problem presented itself, look beyond the obvious. Do not be the elderly man who only see futility in any attempt. Sometimes thinking big and the broader picture is not the way to go. Baby steps is a good option, helping just a small part or an individual at a time is better than not to help at all. Because as every starfish u help saved, be it a child or grown up, who can now read, or lived another day, or fed, or shelter, or a even a smile, or crossed the street, or shelter to the runaway teen, or to someone who benefitted a brief advice, or a simple chat, or the girl who benefitted from  the sex crime brochure, or burglaries that was prevented by a simple shone of a torchlight, an animal in distress, a granny with heavy groceries- will tell you and will tell u well that you’re your touch made a difference no matter how small the effort is, as long as its done with care and sincerity.

Open up ur mind when the problem seems to be unsolved. Never be the elderly man.

Never underestimate the power of an individual. While it is true that the biggest impact are that of a team that strive and synergise over a similar cause and build upon each other strength,  never forget that the individual made up of those teams. And if history can offer any proof, its always individuals that move nations, formed organizations that respond to them, and change everything. Again and again.

there’s a similar story found in the religion. Or should I say a comparable parable. It carries the same message and then some. While the starfish looked at the difference made to outside, this one looks to the change made internally. The story is when the prophet Abraham was sent to the fire by his people. A small bird, which I can’t recall what type now, was seen to be carrying water with its beak back and forth trying to put out the enormous fire. As it went by, the bird was asked, why oh why does it do what it did, when it knows that he alone can’t put out the fire with the water in beak method. The bird responded simply, there was a problem in front of him that he can not ignore. A problem he needs to do something to help. And the water in the beak is what he is capable of, and that what he will do repeatedly. When asked, doesn’t he know that his effort are insignificant? And futility is everything it is? That the enormous fire didn’t even flinched let alone quiver at the continuous water poured by its beak? And the bird responded, the journey matter more that the end, what matters is, when the calling is heard, the bird answered, and responded in the best effort he can. Because in the Final Analysis, when the bird is asked on the event, none can say he didn’t help, or that he just look on and proclaim the futility or despair of a bird that cannot put out the fire. And if a blame should be put to all that didn’t help the prophet, he will not be subjected to it, because it did what it can, contribute most of what he is able to. That he did make a different, even if its just to himself. And that the journey is what matters.